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Yoga Teacher Emails: Unsubscribe At Your Own Risk
Dear JEAN, Hope you like this “Personalized” Form Email Sent To 6,654 Subscribers That Makes You Feel Special Because It Mentions You By Name JeanMRE Hi, JEAN, can we talk? Om this sounds so personal...
View ArticleAshtanga Yoga is Bad For You
1. Ashtanga Yoga is Not Functional Movement: No one needs to put his leg behind his head, ok? This is a skill that won’t help you run away from mountain lion. Or get a sticky lid off a jar, or text...
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Instagram Yoga Tutorials: Easy Peasy Guides to Handstand, Handstand Kisses,...
featured picture by Zoe Ward @unrulyascetic Handstand: The Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy Guide Place hands on floorLift one left into the airLift the other leg up till your entire body is upside down and...
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Pose Problem Solving: The Hard Way May Be The Simplest Route
“If we go with our knee jerk reaction to the easy, obvious choices, the short list, it’s much harder to solve our problem. We learned this from Moneyball when we discovered that a low capitalized...
View ArticleYoga Teacher, Get Over Yourself
There’s a student in your power vinyasa class in a handstand while eveyone else breathes in child’s pose. That student? Me. Maybe. Don’t hit me. I once saw each choreography change by a student as an...
View Article9 Super Scary Last-Minute DIY Halloween Costumes For Yogis
The Exorcist girl bent over backwards. via GIPHY (this is for me, inspired by @unrulyascetic on Instagram). white nightgown plus backbend. Done. 2. Guru known for being a sexual predator (or just, you...
View ArticleDEATHWISH® YOGA: YOGA FOR THOSE WHO WANNA CHEAT DEATH OR LOSE LIMBS OR MAIM...
#doitforthegram #hashtagasana #asanaforagony #practicelikeeverybodyswatching #posingovercliffs #keepitdeathlyreal #RUMIalsosaidwhenwasieverlessbydying DeathWish® Yoga is the brain-dead child of Dylan...
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The Mansplaining Yogi Explains It All: Your Uterus, Curves, Pregnancy, and...
Images herein by Zoe Ward aka @unrulyascetic on Insta On Taking His Yoga Class During Your Pregnancy: Do I care that you have an established practice? Do I care that you’re a prenatal yoga teacher and...
View ArticleBackbending for DUMMIES (Pt 1)
Spoiler Alert: The dummy is me. Backbends are the hot sauce on my soul, and I like hot sauce. While I am admittedly, a genetic udon-noodled spine, this gift brought the curse of overdoing backbends in...
View ArticleHey Yoga Teacher, Stop Touching People For No Reason
I was in natarajasana, often called “dancer’s pose” in a late night (almost 9pm) class at a dominant, well-known yoga school, when the male teacher picked me up off the floor and spun me around, like...
View ArticleIn Ashtanga, You Don’t “Got This”
In Boulder, a friend of mine told me about the day, a month into her life as a CorePower yoga regular, she stared at her reflection from a Warrior II and thought: “I got this.” As in, I got this flow....
View ArticleHey Yoga Teacher, Put Your Phone Down
Do you take out your phone while teaching? To change the music? Text about Take-out? Social Media? Snap Pics to market/brag about your rockin’ packed class on the ‘gram? This, after you’ve told...
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How to Put Both legs Behind Your Head In 27 Easy Steps (CROTCH SHOT NOT...
(this piece inspired and based on “How To Buckle Your Baby Into A Carseat In 36 Easy Steps” By Kristen Mulrooney. Featured illustration by Zoe Ward aka @unrulyascetic). STEP 1: Dress yourself in yoga...
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I Couldn’t Be Happier Selling Yoga Teacher Trainer Trainings To Train Other...
(Inspired by Bobbie Armstrong’s funny mcsweeney’s piece) Growing up on Instagram yoga, my influencers always taught me one thing: Be hot. They also told me to follow my dreams, assuming I was naked in...
View ArticleYes, This Is The Yoga Of No…
People think I practice the yoga of NO. But I’ve found Ashtanga yoga to be the yoga of YES. Yes: we believe you can, so we’re holding you here at this pose. Yes: we’re not holding you back but giving...
View ArticleDear Ashtanga Practitioners: We Regret To Inform You That Setu Bandhasana Is...
Dear Ashtanga Practitioners: We regret to inform you that the pose Setu Bandhasana is canceled. Unfortunately, due to the rapid infectious spread of the Covid-19 Virus and InstaLive Yoga, we’ve come...
View ArticleAdditional Yoga World Cancellations Due To Covid-19
Dear Yogis: The current situation is rapidly evolving, and here we are, practicing yoga home alone with our own dust bunnies and rolled sock props. While you’re at it, here is a list of additional...
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TYPES OF INSTAYOGIS IN QUARANTINE: A SLIDE SHOW INSPIRED BY @BUTLIKEMAYBE
this post inspired by the comic humor queen @butlikemaybe on INSTA and her post “Types of People in Quarantine”1. THE BRAGITUDEOMG you guys, just look at this screenshot post of the sixty-seven...
View ArticleA Guide To Social Distancing for Ashtanga Home Practitioners
This blog is an homage-y rip -off of the piece “A Guide to Social Distancing for Freelancers” By Amy Collier, published March 13, 2020 in Mcsweeneys Social Distance is a strategy officials have...
View ArticleI AM USING THIS TIME TO NOT DEEPEN MY YOGA PRACTICE
(This piece is more than inspired by this funny piece in McSweeneys called “I Am Using My Free Time To Not Write My Novel” by Scott Bolohan) They say the best way to not deepen your yoga practice is to...
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